Falling Skies

Load screen!  You see this A LOT. But it's the only way I could identify the featured characters.

Load screen! You see this A LOT. But it’s the only way I could identify the featured characters.

    TNT’s Steven Spielberg produced summer sci-fi series released it’s first licensed game with a whisper. Little promotion to make series fans aware of it’s existence is usually one of the signs that something is an especially terrible licensed game. It’s well known that most licensed franchise titles aren’t worth bothering with, too often they are quickly made cash grabs that are just repainted versions of better games. Falling Skies doesn’t break that trend but it does succeed in it being a competent copy.

    Most of Earth’s population is dead. Evil Aliens have all but taken over. They take human children and turn them into alien foot soldiers. There’s a small resistance group whose helped by Good Aliens. The game assumes that you’re already familiar with the series in a way that no other recap is needed… since I’m not familiar with it at all I can only assume that the evil aliens are really some odd anti-adoption metaphor. Maybe I’m wrong.

    The voice cast is blandly forgettable. Even the series characters are all blanks giving flat “My contract demands that I do this” line readings. Not that the script is anything to write home about. The dialog is oddly stilted and unless you know the series intimately nothing that happens in the cutscenes will matter to you in the slightest.

Cover, shoot, cover, shoot.

Cover, shoot, cover, shoot.

    Falling Skies is graphically dated. It looks like a game from the PS2/Xbox era. While having the team members be generic random features for a game like this, as they’re all just disposable designed to follow orders and die in the field without any impact to the overall story. This isn’t acceptable for the featured characters. They all have featureless portrait images. The only way I knew what any of them were actually supposed to look like is because of the tv series promo still that’s used for load screens.

    Gameplay is perfectly passable for a strategy title. You have a squad made up of a variety of character types who level up with successful mission completions. Movement and fighting are turn based on a gridded map. Enemies aren’t visible until line of sight is acquired. They don’t do anything until seen. You could kill several waves of enemies and one standing two squares won’t even bother moving until you take those two steps. Enemy AI is almost nonexistant. They just rush player, melee and back off to cover, repeat. Every enemy type. Every stage. Unlike it’s inspiration, XCOM, there’s no challenge. There’s no ambushes lying in wait, there’s no need to ever bother with a strategy and your squad is never really in danger most of the time.

    Falling Skies is just for fans of the series, it’s impossible to recommend beyond that. No one else should even give it a first glance. Everyone else should just go play XCOM. Really… go play XCOM.

Ooooooohhhhhh.... MAP SQUARES!

Ooooooohhhhhh…. MAP SQUARES!

Falling Skies: The Video Game- 4/10- A better licensed title but not worth your time or money

Transformers: Rise of the Dark Spark

Because it's too ugly to look at again, even just to add images... here's the best thing from the game. EPIC COVER ART! HELLZ YES!

Because it’s too ugly to look at again, even just to add images… here’s the best thing from the game. EPIC COVER ART! HELLZ YES!

   Transformers has been fairly fortunate with it’s franchise tie-in games over the past few years. The series was developed by High Moon Studios, for Activision, with more care and effort than is usually placed in cash grab titles. That’s not to say they’ve been perfect or great or even must plays but they’ve been good enough to pass a couple of hours with. Even the obviously rushed Dark of the Moon had good things at it’s core. Which lead to what happens to all good developers owned by Activision. High Moon was “promoted” out of the trenches and on to the team that fiddles with the all mighty CALL OF DUTY! series. Pity that. Edge of Reality, a studio that’s been around since the around since the late 90s, takes the wheel for this entry.

    A purple meteor crashes on Earth within it’s rocky crevices lies the Dark Spark, the antehisis of the Autobot’s Matrix of Leadership. Where the Matrix grants a debatable amount of wisdom, the Dark Spark allows it’s owner to bend the universe to it’s will. Yeah. It does seem a little bit lopsided in power, even more with all the tedious dialog about equal and opposite balance blah blah blah. Of course, the Autobots fail to recover the nasty little plug and play peripheral and the hunt for the Decepticon who has taken it is on. Because this is a Transformers title we then flip once again to Cybertron, the robot homeworld, where once again it’s the Autobot’s DARKEST HOUR and once again the Decepticons are about to win the ancient war for control. We take the Decepticon’s side as they search the battle scarred metal planet in search for the… all together now… Dark Spark! Why they’re bothering with this waste of time and resources when victory is pretty much assured is never really explained in anyway that makes sense.

    The script is awful. These are long established characters, they have personalities that are recognizable beyond what’s presented here. All of the Autobots are flatly heroic and all the Decepticons are bumbling fools. That might not really get across how incompetent they are. It makes you marvel that they could ever succeed at anything. The awkward slapstick is unending and desperately forced in like an afterthought. Maybe in a  panic to salvage something here? Either works.
The voice cast is anchored by Peter Cullen being supported by a who’s who of voice actors. They do their best with what they’re given but none of them can do much with it. The musical score might cause ear bleeding. Short but obnoxiously “epic” orchestral tracks are feed through a cheap Do-It-Yourself-Home-Techno-Party program. Then it’s looped endlessly at a volume level that’s sure to make the dog next door howl but fortunately drowns out some of the worst dialog.
Level designs are boring. Alternating between destroyed Earth city and identical ancient outer space catacombs it all doesn’t just look the same ingame, it looks just like a million other titles. Specifically it’s all poor copies of a couple of environments from High Moon’s last entry in the series. The visual copies don’t stop just at the level looks but it extends to all the weapons, all the enemies and everything. Of course the environments can be forgiven if the gunfights and transformed segments are good. I mean, what else do you really need in a Transformers game? The fights in High Moon’s series were solid so if they’re lifting stuff they’ve just taken them, right?

    Wrong. The fights lack any need to really engage. Wave after wave of enemies who all react the same way. Who mindlessly repeat the same patterns with the occasional incomprehensible dodge move thrown in just to annoy the player. The only redeeming feature in them is the large armory at your disposal. Of course all of that was lifted out of High Moon’s efforts.
So gunfights aren’t so great. What about vehicle combat, you ask hopefully, that gleam that seems to appear whenever a beloved childhood favorite makes a new appearance. The same gleam that leads you to go to every film adaptation and drag the little ones along, the gleam that whispers to you in the dark just how great the coming Masters of the Universe movie is going to be. Well, you can just turn that off right now. Vehicle play is even worse. All the vehicles feel slow. There are even two boost buttons at your command and you still never get any feeling of speed or change in tempo. Flying robots should always be awesome but instead they’re more of a chore, lacking anything to help you navigate they end up being a tedious game of hide and seek. Ground vehicles lumber along without power steering through sets that never give them a chance to be used as anything more than a “Well… it’s Transformers so we should probably have them, you know, transform.”


    Activision… please give the franchise back to High Moon. They will eventually make that truly great Transformers title that folks want in their heart of hearts. It’s never going to happen with Edge of Reality or the dozen other B and C teams you have on the bench. Learn a lesson for once. Good studios you own can work on more than just CALL OF DUTY!!!. Really they can.

Transformers: Rise of the Dark Spark- 3/10- All the points are for the voice cast. Just don’t bother.

Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel!

Go ahead... make my day... Anybody? Hello?!?!!

Go ahead… make my day… Anybody? Hello?!?!!

    Gearbox’s Borderlands series has been a real highlight of this past console generation. Massive piles of bullets spewed from a near endless variety of gun, enough character customization to make your eyes glaze over, all tied up with some of the best dialog and funniest characters to grace our screens with their batshit crazy. Ok, sure, the plots were loose and not as cohesive as they could have been but who needs that when you have a giant brightly colored world to slaughter your way through? To keep the franchise in view and still let them get some other projects finally attended to Gearbox has handed the reins over to 2K Australia for The Pre-Sequel! and Telltale for the currently running episodic Tales from the Borderlands series. 2K Australia does a perfectly passable job with their entry.

    Taking the spotlight this time around is Borderlands 2’s exuberantly sadistic villain, Handsome Jack, to give a better focus on his how and why. Hyperion’s still under construction space station, Helios, is attacked by The Lost Legion just as four new playable Vault Hunters, all returning NPCs from previous games, arrive. With Helios temporarily taken, the Vault Hunters make a break to Elpis, the moon orbiting Borderland’s usual location of Pandora, to regroup and get themselves a robot army.

    Once again we can take our pick from four Vault Hunters. Athena the Gladiator, a former assassin for Atlus Corporation, who appeared in the original title’s The Secret Armory of General Knoxx DLC. Her primary skill is a temporary shield that absorbs damage, be thrown Captain America style and can reflect elemental damage back at enemies. Nisha the Lawbringer, an Old West style bandit who kills bandits, who originally appeared in Borderlands 2 as Jack’s girlfriend and the Sheriff of Lynchwood. Her main skill is The Showdown, which slows time while improving gun damage, speed and allows for snap targeting. Wilhelm the Enforcer, the cybernetics addicted second boss from Borderlands 2. He’s this entry’s turret character but is a drone and as the game progresses he gets modifications that make he creeps toward the monstrosity he was the first time we shot him in the face. Finally, but certainly not least of all, is Claptrap the Fragtrap, the series mascot and fan favorite character finally is under your control. VaultHunter.exe skill generates random effects that can help or hurt you and your party, many of them are based on skills from the player characters from the earlier games. Claptrap is the only choice that actually plays in a new style. I know you were either sold on that choice already or rolling your eyes in disgust at his return but I want to assure you it’s great fun… if you’re playing with a group… for a second run-through… maybe a third.

    While the humor isn’t as biting or as, well, laugh out loud while peeing yourself funny as 2, it still works for the most part. The player characters are all given expanded roles with more dialog and variations depending on which you are playing as. It’s a nice touch that was oddly missing in the earlier titles. That 2K Australia embraced the Aussiness of their team actually goes a long way to make this title worth a play. Instead of only catering to American and European players they sell the accents and Australian cultural references up thick, quick and don’t ever feel the need to have to explain them… because fuck you if you don’t get it. Sorry, it’s Australian, so I mean “because ***k ya gob sh****t if ya don’t get it”. While the old gang almost all of the old characters from the original Borderlands game returns in some capacity with cameos from all of the more popular NPCs from 2, most of the new NPCs just don’t leave that much of an impression.



    Since half of the action takes place on Elpis, don’t expect the lush environments of the earlier games. While Elpis itself looks great, the moon above Pandora doesn’t offer much in the way of location variety. It’s all very grey and rocky or grey and spaceship like. Time spent on Helios makes up for this some, with everything from a grassy area where they’re breeding Nightstalkers to the cold vacuum of space. It’s not just the environments that start to take on a look of “Haven’t I seen this already?!?!?!” so do the enemies. While the previous titles had a breathtaking number of enemies, even if many were just variations on themes, The Pre-Sequel has a very limited number of even variations. I’d estimate there’s only three of four variations of each type of enemy and unlike previously they don’t all come in smaller versions.

    Elpis does offer some new things though. Low gravity which allows for slow leaps, double jumps and ass slams that will stun nearby enemies.   The new jumping setup allows for some good traversal and environmental puzzles to get from point A to point B. Since there’s little atmosphere on the moon, you equip yourself with an “Oz kit” to breath and maneuver. While double jumping or just exploring uses O2 there’s enough ways to replenish and there are more than enough spots on every map to do it that I never felt rushed or worried by it. Unfortunately you also move slower on the moon so in the early hours that long trek back to whoever gave you the quest you just finished can feel even longer… so fucking long…

    Also new to the series is a laser rifles weapon class. These come in the largest variety of any weapon. Available in models with various shotgun like spreads or single shots or even continuous beams of searing death. They’re a lot of fun to play with and are the most welcome addition from Elpis.

That map isn't that big... how do I keep getting lost?

That map isn’t that big… how do I keep getting lost?

    Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel is just more Borderlands. Which is a good thing. While it never really makes it it’s own thing, it’s a fine addition to the series that will tide over fans for a while. Not a must play and not a must skip. It’s an ok entry but a disappointing final entry in the last console generation’s best new franchise.

Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel- 7/10- Not a bad entry to the series but doesn’t ever become it’s own thing, to forever stand in the shadow of Borderlands 2.

Alien Isolation

THE FUTURE! (circa 1980)

THE FUTURE! (circa 1980)

   The Alien franchise has a rocky history outside of the movie theater. Game developers usually go to James Cameron’s 1986 Aliens for inspirational sourcing and go full tilt invincible space marine shoot the acid blooding bastards in the face power fantasy. Ridley Scott’s original 1979 film has stood apart from the mayhem. Maybe devs are too reverent of it. Maybe those behind the previous games didn’t know how to approach Scott’s weak human prey vs unstoppable stealth killing machine in a way that would make the experience worthwhile for their audience. There’s no easy hook to swing a power fantasy from, there’s no affirmation that you are the biggest badass in the immediate galactic region. Alien has always been about terror, claustrophobia and waiting for death around the next turn in the ventilation shaft.

    Many big gun developers have take runs at the franchise. Fox Video Games took the first swing at an Alien title in 1982 for the Atari 2600, making it a Pac-Man clone. In 1984 UK companies Amsoft and Argus Press Software teamed up to deliver an early and brilliant strategy title for Commodore 64 and ZX Spectrum that is tragically overlooked. Aliens launched into theaters with a couple tie-in games attached to it. These would forge the basic concept of every game in the franchise from here on out. Shoot  Xenomorphs, Win! All the way up to 2012’s massively disappointing, but undeniably ambitious, Gearbox effort Colonial Marines.

    So what could we possibly expect from Alien Isolation. First, notice there is no “s” on the Alien there. Developer The Creative Assembly. best known for the Total War strategy series, boldly goes back the the first film for inspiration. They capture the low-fi esthetic of late 70s sci-fi perfectly and give a world that ol Ridley should be proud of.

It's coming to get you, Amanda... it's coming to get you.

It’s coming to get you, Amanda… it’s coming to get you.

    Taking place in the 57 years between the loss of the Nostromo at the end of Alien and before the Marines are sent to LV-426 to investigate what’s happening. We are placed in the shoes of Alien film heroine Ellen Ripley’s daughter, Amanda Ripley. Amanda has been taking all the jobs available out in the area of space where The Company, Weyland-Yutani, think her mother’s ship went missing. Eventually she is told that the flight recorder from her mother’s fateful last trip has been recovered on Sevastopol Station, a remote space station owned by the Seegson Corporation, orbiting a gas giant. Amanda jumps at the opportunity to be a part of the team going to retrieve the recorder, unfortunately they’re not the only new visitors to this cold and mostly forgotten outpost.

    Alien Isolation looks amazing. The look and feel is consistent and lifted perfectly from the 1979 film. Creative Assembly makes Sevastopol Station a wonderful environment to explore. Using it’s age and soon to be decommissioned rotting nature to great effect for player navigation and environmental puzzles. The station tells its own story separate from that of ultimate predator stalking poor orphan girl, it’s an interesting layer places just under the main action. Making Alien Isolation a first person horror game was a fantastic move, it makes everything feel that much more immediate. There’s no way to cheat the camera around a corner and it makes the environment that much more threatening.

The motion tracker is your best friend... of course that's assuming that things are, you know, moving.

The motion tracker is your best friend… of course that’s assuming that things are, you know, moving.

    Character models are all solid. They move in ways that are naturalistic for the character. Humans move fairly smoothly, WY synthetics slightly more stiffly, Seegson’s synthetics robotically. It’s nice to see this kind of detail given proper attention. The Xenomorph moves unlike anything else. Also the variations in AI for each of the different character types in welcome. It slides to accommodate that specific character in that specific room. Though, just like movement, there is more attention given to the Alien’s. It’s a smart, fast, insistent and determined predator. It’s a foe that you’ve never encountered before.

    Not up to the rest of the game though is the poor voice acting for the new characters. Far too many of them are simply bland and lifeless. It’s an even more glaring issue as you progress and find voice records left by the crew of The Nostromo with the majority of the original film’s cast returning, the sole exception being John Hurt and his character, Kane. They all give solid performances to characters they brought to life over 30 years ago without missing a step. The old cast bring their A game and remind us that it was a film stuffed with talent in front of the camera just as much as behind it.

    Alien Isolation isn’t just the best horror title this year, it’s not just the best science fiction game. It’s not just the best first person game this year. It’s easily a runner for the best game this year full stop. Get it. No excuses.

Alien Isolation- 9.5/10 Not perfect but close. The best game in the Alien franchise by a wide margin and one of the best experiences in gaming this year.


Sherlock Holmes Crimes and Punishments

Holmes! Incredible! How could you tell she was a victim of domestic abuse?

Holmes! Incredible! How could you tell she was a victim of domestic abuse?

    Independent Ukrainian and Irish development studio, Frogwares, tenth Adventures of Sherlock Holmes adventure in twelve years is going to be tragically overlooked. Starting with Sherlock Holmes: Mystery of the Mummy in 2002 Frogwares have continually shown a strong understanding of Arthur Conan Doyle’s immortal sleuth. The series gets stronger with each title and even that is a rarity in modern gaming. While no one could ever accuse any of the entries to be perfect, the series stands against giving into trends and showing that the point and click adventure genre still has life and ways to grow.

    Forgoing their usual set up of one large case per title, Crimes and Punishments is an anthology of six short unconnected cases. It’s the closest to cracking open a volume of the canon and a celebration of the source material. The first case is an adaption of Doyle’s The Adventure of Black Peter. Holmes doesn’t just solve a murders this time around, there are also thefts and disappearances and catacomb or two. The cases range from mundane to brilliantly planned. Each case clocks in between one and two hours to complete and takes advantage of the short nature to take on a wide range of topics and trapping, from Ancient Roman ruins to domestic violence.

    The voice cast is, as to be expected, a mixed bag. While Sherlock’s voice is great and Watson’s voice is fine, many of the bit players sound a bit too “We picked them up walking out of an amatur production of Shakespear rehersal”. None are deal breakers but they can take a moment to accept.

Watson's Creepy Factor was toned down a bit as well.

Watson’s Creepy Factor was toned down a bit as well.

The character models are also mixed. Holmes’ model looks fantastic, and again distinctly inspired by Jeremy Brett’s decade long run in the role. Lestrade and every other single case character look rushed and fairly generic. All the environments are nicely detailed and feel authentic enough. 221 B Baker Street looks like the one Brett’s Holmes occupied, though far messier and cramped, and simply feels right. Unfortunately there are a fair number of graphic glitches, the characters occasionally slightly ghost and the video clips.
The game allows for both third and first person view. On occasion you’ll find yourself switching between them as it’s simply impossible to get the camera to highlight some examinables in the environment. It’s annoying but a minor quibble.

    Gameplay is your usual point and click style. Holmes parades around the environment collecting clues that will form impressions you must connect that will allow you to finally form a conclusion and make an accusation or absolve the culprit. Holmes gets a Batman Arkham series detective mode to highlight things that would otherwise be overlooked and can in, some situations, reconstruct in his imagination what happened from found clues. Holmes can size up a character with an interactive spin around the model. Suspect interrogation which is little more than playing out the dialog tree with the occasional interjection that can be thrown in if you have a contrary piece of information. Found items can be brought back to Baker Street for analysis. There are several mini games tossed in but none are all that interesting or very fun. Though the experience of finding clues, thinking out how they fit, the freedom to draw your own conclusion and the moral choice dilemmas at the end of each chapter easily balance out the awkward minigames.

221 B Baker Street... Home of a master detective or just your common type of hoarder?

221 B Baker Street… Home of a master detective or just your common type of hoarder?

    Crimes and Punishments has one fantastic new element and a couple of tragic problems. Load times are simply too long and too often. Going to a location and waiting through the 30 second screen of Holmes reading Dostoevsky’s Crime and Punishment is fine, except often there’s another 15 seconds of black screen loading once that’s finish and there’s a noticeable load pause whenever Holmes interacts with anything. The puzzles are simply too easy and simple. Holmes’ cases really should be a bit more challenging in all honesty. Sherlock Holmes Crimes and Punishments does bring one fantastic new element to the genre. It allows you to be wrong. Incredibly wrong. That alone makes the trip worth taking. You can be wrong and that is such a great breath of fresh air in the medium that I can’t overemphasize how great that is.

    As you’ve probably guessed… I’m an unabashed fan of this series and I love the genre as a whole. I still often lament how there’s so few of these making it to consoles and how no major publisher even bothers with them but have no problems regurgitating identical shooters on the market every year. No, it’s definitely not for everyone but for those who enjoyed the previous entries, fans of either current TV updating of the great detective, those who took a chance on the disappointing Murdered Soul Suspect earlier this year or those just looking for something different I highly recommend Sherlock Holmes Crimes and Punishments and eagerly await Frogwares’ next entry in this stand out series. It’s simply one of the best experiences I’ve had in gaming this year.

Sherlock Holmes Crimes and Punishments- 8/10

Assassin’s Creed Rouge

Abstergo Media sure is stuffed with ads for Ubisoft stuff. They're being all meta and shit!

Abstergo Media sure is stuffed with ads for Ubisoft stuff. They’re being all meta and shit!

The eighth installment in Ubisoft’s historic franchise, nineteenth overall, takes us back for a third round of good old Assassin and Templer violence in the 18th century. Tragically it doesn’t reach past any of the shortcomings of the last two entries. Bringing nothing new to the table isn’t necessarily a bad thing if they’d used the old elements to present something good but charging premium price for what’s basically a standalone expansion pack is regardless of quality.

    Trying to still make up for the blunder of Assassin’s Creed 3 abandoning the fascinating Assassin turned Templar Haythem Kenway after the opening missions to force his boring and painfully stupid son Ratonhnhaké:ton (or Connor) into the lead role. Ubisoft gives us Shay Cormac a young apprentice Assassin who is given an insanely important mission after we’re told several times that he’s still learning and not really ready for something this serious. Shay quickly gets himself a ship, the Morrigan, and sets off to recover two artifacts of dire importance from those evil nasty Templars. When he succeeds he accidentally triggers an event that kills hundreds of innocent people and disillusioned finds himself with those nasty Templars against his former brothers… the really just as fucking bad Assassins.
The voice cast is mostly terrible. All their accents are amped up to 11. Did you forget for a moment that a character is, say, French? That’s ok because soon a voice actor channeling Peter Seller’s Inspector Clouseau will be insulting you. It’s lazy and annoying. These are keywords for pretty much every aspect of this game.

I love how talkative dying folks are in the AC world.

I love how talkative dying folks are in the AC world.

    While Rougue’s story could easily be one of the most interesting in a while again Ubisoft goes as lazy as they could for it. After seven entries all about how evil the Templars are, despite all the evidence that they are really exactly like the Assassins but use a different flag and phrase things a bit differently, here it’s all flipped. The Assassins are painted as overaggressive assholes who will stop at nothing, not ever the complete destruction of a city and all those lost lives will even cause them to blind. The Templars are shown exactly like the Assassins have been in every other entry. They’re more thoughtful and concerned for the people, they’re more thoughtful about the consequences of their actions. But that’s only in the Animus segments, once in modern day they’re back to the nasty evil world domination driven fucks we have always been told they are. Instead of taking the opportunity to really explore the two sides differences it’s so glazed over and so extremely opposite a view that it wastes all it’s potential. More since Shay is the first character in a recent entry to even passingly consider what’s going on around him and has a moral view on it beyond “Those guys are bad, ‘mkay? We gotta stop them.”

What do you do with a drunken Templar? What do you do with a drunken Templar early in the morning? Sail him around until it's boring...

What do you do with a drunken Templar? What do you do with a drunken Templar early in the morning? Sail him around until it’s boring…

    I find it lazy, though I have been guilty of it myself, to just reference similar titles when discussing gameplay it is impossible to avoid here. So I’ll give as much thought to it as Ubisoft did. The sailing and naval action is directly out of Black Flag but with icebergs. Do you remember the hostile territory takeovers from Brotherhood? That’s back as well but now they fly Assassin flags. The endless grinding for creatures to hunt so you could use their pelts to craft better equipment from AC3? That’s back and twice as grindy. The only new addition to gameplay is lifted right out of the previous installments online play. The new stalker enemies blend in with the normal NPCs and wait for you to pass so they can spring out and deliver a telegram of pain should be a great addition. Unfortunately, we’re going back to the keywords from earlier, it’s integrated lazily and it annoyingly slows down the action at times when it should be ramping up. The stalkers don’t have any motion, they just hid in their spot and loudly talk to themselves. At no point do they ever feel like a threat or as more than an after thought added late in development so they wouldn’t waste some easy to plug in features. While the stalking and hiding in plain site was a fantastic and fresh multiplayer style, when scripted like this it’s more of a chore that’s slowing down and padding out the thin gameplay.

    Assassin’s Creed Rouge is a dubious farewell to the console generation that birthed this series. Bringing back every possible mechanic that was praised in earlier entries and giving a story that desperately tried to win back the favor of those annoyed with the last two. I just can’t recommend it to most people. If you are in real need of more Black Flag? Go for it. This was made just for you. If you haven’t been keeping detailed notes on every Assassin’s Creed title, skip it and pick up the Ezio Trilogy collection and Black Flag.

20 games later and you still spend most of it hiding in the surprisingly large number of haystacks.

20 games later and you still spend most of it hiding in the surprisingly large number of haystacks.

Assassin’s Creed Rouge- 5/10 Lazy, repetitive and poorly done. The biggest missed opportunity from the series so far.

Risen 3: Titan Lords

oooooohhhhhh.... Steam cover art.

oooooohhhhhh…. Steam cover art.

Piranha Bytes third Risen game goes puts us back on the high seas. A pirate action RPG must be a great thing, right? I mean who can ever get enough swashbuckling pirate speak? I can’t. Pirate is even my default language on a couple sites I troll. Pirates fighting the minions of hell? Yes. More please. What could possibly go wrong here? Risen 3: Titan Lords has to be an end of the generation classic, right? Wrong.

    The children of Steelbeard, the fiercest pirate captain in the Risen universe, have been hunting for treasure on the Crab Coast. They don’t find treasure. Instead they find a portal to the netherworld which quickly spews out a demon mage who kills our hero. Waking up five weeks later, thanks to your new sidekick Bones, you learn your soul has been tucked away in hell and you need to get it back before becoming one of the undead horde. Before he can save his soul, he’ll have to get back his ship, pull together a crew and seal up the gateways scattered through the land.

    Where Risen 3 really has it’s best moments is in the dialog. It’s just quirky enough to be fun instead of eye rollingly stupid for the most part. Many of the lead and party characters are voiced with tongues firmly implanted in cheeks which is really the only way to approach lines like these. Unfortunately no one seemed to tell this to the secondary voice actors who bog down the charm with limp readings and dull voices. It’s a shame that not everyone went all in with their characters.



    The map is large and the environments vary greatly. Risen 3’s world is just fun to wander through. Which is good since the impressive number of side quests requires a lot of it. That Piranha Bytes keeps the world fresh throughout the game is an impressive accomplishment. Several of the environments look fantastic with lush vegetation or sheer ice cliffs. They look so good that it’s almost sad that the developers had decided to overstuff all of them with junk. Be it pick up items or hordes of enemies, everywhere is packed to bursting with STUFF. To make things even more disappointing, the enemies and characters look bad. Not deal breakingly bad but noticeably rough when running around the world. Everything and everyone places in the world could do with a spit shine and polish. Why build such a great world and populate it with such eye sores?

    Combat, on the other hand, IS a deal breaker. The magic system is fine and a lot of the spells are a lot of fun to use but when it comes to hand to hand or firearms it all falls apart. Targeting is a mess, taking swings at the air in front of or next to your target or turning around to swing at an enemy far behind you. Dodging and blocking feel awkward with a poor response time. To make it worse the strike animations are all oddly long for the pace the game tries to impose on combat. It’s excruciating having to wait for your strike to finally be delivered, after standing there holding down the block button for close to eternity waiting for this moment, only for the animation to draw out what should be a quick attack that ends with you stuck being slapped around instead of bringing the pain as planned. Enemies can leap across the screen to smack you upside the head that’s nearly impossible to gauge the dodge timing for. Your sidekicks AI is a mess also. Winning without them is impossible but you can’t expect them to really help you when you need it either. You can only lead enemies toward them and hope they decide to attack over there, allowing you to take them on one at a time instead of in a cluster which is a sure death.

    Risen 3 will probably delight fans of the series but it is not going to bring any new folks to the fold. If anything it’s guaranteed to annoy those who aren’t already long term fans with it’s terrible combat alone. There’s the bones of a great action RPG here but the meat around them just does not cut it.

It's obvious why they released this one as a promo image. Some of the environments are simply stunning. We didn't bother to capture any for this because it would have meant going back into the game. No one was willing to do that.

It’s obvious why they released this one as a promo image. Some of the environments are simply stunning. We didn’t bother to capture any for this because it would have meant going back into the game. No one was willing to do that.

Rise 3: Titan Lords- 4.5/10  As it is… it doesn’t even make it to being an average title. The terrible combat and awful character graphics drag down a great world and interesting characters. Only for Risen fans.


The Evil Within

The buddy system. When in a twisted nightmare world remember it always use it. As much as you can anyway.

The buddy system. When in a twisted nightmare world remember it always use it. As much as you can anyway.

    Shinji Mikami has long neglected the survival horror genre, having created the Resident Evil series and overseeing the series development up to Resident Evil 4, finally returns home to the genre he pretty much created. The first title from his own development studio Tango Gameworks and published by Bethesda Softworks, The Evil Within feels like a great old Mikami game… by that I mean Resident Evil 4. The Evil Within feels like Resident Evil 4. A lot like it.

    There’s an armed and active shooter in the local insane asylum. An unknown number inside are dead, including several police officers, so instead of sending in a SWAT unit to neutralize the shooter the city sends in Krimson City Police Detective Sebastian Castellanos, his partner Joseph Oda and rookie Detective Julie “Kid” Kidman. So already the suspension of disbelief is fairly high. It doesn’t take them long after arrival to find bodies everywhere and watch a supernatural antagonist, Ruvik, taking out the remaining police. Of course said supernatural antagonist immediately appear behind Castellanos. Without further ado he’s separated from his partners and in a twisted world of monsters and gore soaked walls.

    The Evil Within’s story has a panicked “We’ve made this game but we forgot to give it a plot! Throw every cliche at the wall and see what sticks!” vibe to it. The problem is that they didn’t remove the stuff that didn’t stick and nothing is really explored in an interesting way. Add to that Sebastian being a boring character to spend time with. What he lacks in personality, he doesn’t make up for in tough-as-nails-been-there-done-that-brought-home-the-t-shirt attitude. While his sidekicks are a bit more interesting they’re not explored enough for them to really matter.

Ooooohhhhh... creepy... kinda...

Ooooohhhhh… creepy… kinda…

     Dialog is as cheesy as it gets but not in the Resident Evil way. In those it’s a lovingly made cheese that fits the tone and helps make the experience, a high quality brie that would have gourmands fighting to the death for it. Here it’s more of processed cheese, it doesn’t really fit with the rest and doesn’t help anything along besides fill silence, a cheese in a spray can that gets clogged if left sitting on the table for a minute. The voice cast is… well… they’re there and that’s about it. While Jackie Earle Haley is solid as Ruvik, the man just does creepy evil bastards well, and Yuri Lowenthal gives a little life to Oda, the others are a master class in mediocrity. Maybe they’re just lazy and wanted a quick paycheck. I haven’t decided which. What makes this worse is that they’ve spent a fair amount on the voice cast and cast actors whose work is at least known to a more general audience. Anson Mount brings his full skills to Castellanos, meaning he fails to emote or even bring the slightest amount of depth or shading to his performance and doesn’t even bother to sound like the world weary character the dialog tries so hard to make him out to be. Jennifer Carpenter’s go as Kidman is fortunately brief as she only pops up a little and for fairly short spans of time, tragically she’ll be front and center for at least two of the coming DLC.

    The Evil Within’s levels look fantastic. The changes in environments from chapter to chapter offer a fair amount of interesting settings. The lighting effects are well done to highlight the environments and give each one a distinct feel. While none of them are really anything unique, they are all done with care and an eye for detail. Several of the stages are really incredible sights. It’s too bad that Mikami doesn’t allow them to do their work. Almost every area is splattered with gore and has corpses shoved into every corner to the point of overkill. Instead of letting them work as they are for effectively creepy settings. Mikami simply overcrowds them. They’re too busy to let them really do their job of heightening tension or giving an interesting experience. To make it worse is the choice to cram the screen in a letterbox format. I guess its in an effort to make it all feel more like a movie but it doesn’t. Instead it just makes things harder to see. The smaller more interesting details need to be nearly stood on and can be overlooked entirely. The traps tossed throughout each level and items occasionally disappear in the cramped frame. It makes the experience more frustrating instead of absorbing.

    Characters and enemy models all have a very dated look to them. On top of that none of them are very unique looking. The normal level enemies are all very cut and paste from every other horror title, glowing eyed zombie like creatures. The bosses are all gigantic variations on popular characters from other titles. One that you keep running into is a masked guy with a chainsaw… something that you have never seen in another Mikami game. Except, of course, Resident Evil 4. There’s a Pyramid Head knock off, this time with a safe wrapped with rust barbed wire. There’s a long haired onryo with multiple arms. While they’re still effective they just make the experience feel like a retread when facing them.

Can YOU name the film this makes me think of? Hint: 1985 Terry Gilliam

Can YOU name the film this makes me think of? Hint: 1985 Terry Gilliam

    Combat is a mixed experience. While I found the stealth to be really solid and fun when it’s a workable option. The head on encounters grew very tiring. Your character just moves too slowly when aiming, the camera zooms in ever more completely blocking out the majority of what’s happening around you. Melee attacks, which are pointlessly weak in most cases, will go wide of the mark and as just swung wildly. Precision and accuracy is nearly impossible with most weapons since the frame rate has a tendency to drop when you need it the most and enemies will suddenly vanish from your well lined up shot to be right on top of you and just to the left well outside of your view. The boss fights are more often puzzles than direct combat, which works really well and makes every confrontation interesting… except… many of them deliver one hit kills and the load time that follows can get almost painfully frustrating.

    The Evil Within is not a bad game by any means. It just doesn’t ever live up to its potential or take any new paths that we haven’t all taken before. There are several fantastic moments but they are surrounded with mediocrity or with so much frustration that just walking away often seems like the only rational thing to do. It’s definitely not for everybody. I prefer to look at it as a warm-up for Mikami and Tango. There’s enough here to give hope for whatever they have next up their sleeves, even though it’s not enough to make The Evil Within work as well as it should.


7.5/10- The frustration, lack of scares or suspense, some blatantly bad design choices and annoying combat undermine what has moments that could have made this a new classic in the genre… but if it is your kind of game it’s worth sticking it out. Only for die hard Survival Horror fans.


WIDESCREEN! for your widescreen TV... totally isn't at all annoying or a bad design choice. Nope. Not at all.

WIDESCREEN! for your widescreen TV… totally isn’t at all annoying or a bad design choice. Nope. Not at all.